This comes under of the header of: What Were They Thinking?!? I probably would be one of the last people to criticize Mattel, creator of Barbie doll, especially after my tirade about the almost banned Black Canary doll, Teacher Barbie with her plastic, non-existent vagina and the Silkstone Lingerie doll. The lingerie doll was created from a material called Silkstone, a combination of porcelain and plastic. Mattel created a high end Barbie doll series, reminiscent of the original, who was designed to teach young girls how to dress. At least, that's the way I heard it. And, I'm sticking to that story. The Silkstone dolls are some of Mattel's best, high end stuff. (I call it my "RETIREMENT FUND.") Those dolls were specially designed in --- lingerie. It came with the whole beautifully detailed shebang. After awhile, the line ended and some of the dolls to follow were a little more covered up --- because "somebody" complained, titling them "inappropriate." I always say it was that one white woman in the Midwest. She was at it again. It was irritating because they obviously weren't for little kids. Not at $45 a pop! Mattel buckled beneath the criticism. Again.
Well, imagine my surprise and the fact that I was going to have to jump on the hypocrisy bandwagon, when I discovered "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken." It made me think about the "cock ring Ken doll" from back in the day. "Psssst ..." (casual glance around to see who else is listening), "Mattel didn't do their research there either! Or maybe they did! Somebody went out to the clubs and discovered people wearing these cock rings, supposedly not realizing that you put them around your, y'know --- COCK. They created a "cool, hip Ken doll" that had a "ring" around his neck that he was supposed to hook "charms" on it for Barbie. Yeah, right. Somebody probably lost their job because of that one. Or got yelled at a lot. Now, we have Sugar Daddy Ken. Mattel's name, not mine. It's not the fact that the doll looks "flamboyantly gay," whatever that may be --- but, he's a MESS. Why on Earth would a man who hangs out with Barbie allow himself to dress that way? It's not the outfit, the fact he looks soooo incredibly old --- I'm not even going to get on the little doggie (who I think one article says he feeds candy to --- which is SO wrong --- and thus the "sugar daddy" title). Really. That's the best they come up with. So, for me, it's not even the doggie. It's the three WOMEN that come with him!!! Check it out, Ken is a SUGAR DADDY forreal!!!! In all fairness, they're beautiful!!!! Well, one of them ain't. (Hint: It's the blonde. She's a mess.)
So, really, I'm not here to judge that harshly. I actually think it's hilarious. Unfortunately, Sugar Daddy Ken was pulled from the Palm Beach line. But, his "bitches" are still available. (That's kind of harsh, isn't it? Well, I take it back.) And, instead of that bottle of water, it should have been a Cosmo or a Margarita. Annnnnd, instead of those boxy, awful shorts, it should have been a bright orange speedo. Now, that would have made it interesting. I'm just saying, if you gonna do it, then OWN it!