Saturday, November 28, 2009

Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken

This comes under of the header of: What Were They Thinking?!? I probably would be one of the last people to criticize Mattel, creator of Barbie doll, especially after my tirade about the almost banned Black Canary doll, Teacher Barbie with her plastic, non-existent vagina and the Silkstone Lingerie doll. The lingerie doll was created from a material called Silkstone, a combination of porcelain and plastic. Mattel created a high end Barbie doll series, reminiscent of the original, who was designed to teach young girls how to dress. At least, that's the way I heard it. And, I'm sticking to that story. The Silkstone dolls are some of Mattel's best, high end stuff. (I call it my "RETIREMENT FUND.") Those dolls were specially designed in --- lingerie. It came with the whole beautifully detailed shebang. After awhile, the line ended and some of the dolls to follow were a little more covered up --- because "somebody" complained, titling them "inappropriate." I always say it was that one white woman in the Midwest. She was at it again. It was irritating because they obviously weren't for little kids. Not at $45 a pop! Mattel buckled beneath the criticism. Again.

Well, imagine my surprise and the fact that I was going to have to jump on the hypocrisy bandwagon, when I discovered "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken." It made me think about the "cock ring Ken doll" from back in the day. "Psssst ..." (casual glance around to see who else is listening), "Mattel didn't do their research there either! Or maybe they did! Somebody went out to the clubs and discovered people wearing these cock rings, supposedly not realizing that you put them around your, y'know --- COCK. They created a "cool, hip Ken doll" that had a "ring" around his neck that he was supposed to hook "charms" on it for Barbie. Yeah, right. Somebody probably lost their job because of that one. Or got yelled at a lot. Now, we have Sugar Daddy Ken. Mattel's name, not mine. It's not the fact that the doll looks "flamboyantly gay," whatever that may be --- but, he's a MESS. Why on Earth would a man who hangs out with Barbie allow himself to dress that way? It's not the outfit, the fact he looks soooo incredibly old --- I'm not even going to get on the little doggie (who I think one article says he feeds candy to --- which is SO wrong --- and thus the "sugar daddy" title). Really. That's the best they come up with. So, for me, it's not even the doggie. It's the three WOMEN that come with him!!! Check it out, Ken is a SUGAR DADDY forreal!!!! In all fairness, they're beautiful!!!! Well, one of them ain't. (Hint: It's the blonde. She's a mess.)
So, really, I'm not here to judge that harshly. I actually think it's hilarious. Unfortunately, Sugar Daddy Ken was pulled from the Palm Beach line. But, his "bitches" are still available. (That's kind of harsh, isn't it? Well, I take it back.) And, instead of that bottle of water, it should have been a Cosmo or a Margarita. Annnnnd, instead of those boxy, awful shorts, it should have been a bright orange speedo. Now, that would have made it interesting. I'm just saying, if you gonna do it, then OWN it!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Michael Jackson doll

Now that he's dead, I guess everybody loves Michael Jackson. You know it's true. A car pulls up --- you hear Mike. Sideshow Collectibles is putting out a doll. A very expensive doll. The 12" Michael Jackson Thriller doll costs $189. He comes with 32-points of articulation, two heads (one Thriller, one un-Thriller MJ when he was cute and still black --- the face is gorgeous), five interchangeable sets of hands + one for various poses (crotch grabbing looks possible). Sideshow Collectibles has always put out some incredible work and this doll (not action figure) is no exception. I remember proudly wearing my Michael Jackson button (Thriller album, posed, white suit) to 8th grade math class and one of my friends politely told me, "Michael Jackson --- is out." I didn't know. I thought I was being cool for once. I was so embarrassed that it was put away before math class ended. But, other children normally find a way to crush your spirit. Mike is going to be here for awhile. Especially now that he's cool again. And, he might as well line up next to Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and have his place in history, too.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

In Case Your Forgot ...

While people are sitting around making decisions about what rights we, as lesbian gay bisexual transgender queer folks, should and should not have, they need to remember that we are still people, too. Can you believe that straight people in the Washington, DC Metropolitan area are sitting around trying to decide whether or not WE, consenting grown folks, can get married?!? Most of them can't even STAY married!!!! I think the right should be taken away from them, we get to vote on them as well OR whether ANYBODY should be able to get married at all. Where's the love?
I got the idea for this image from one of my newest friends, Thomas Allen Harris, an incredible filmmaker, journalist, artist and activist, who did the film"That's My Face." He has another film that he's working on called "Through A Lens Darkly." Check out the trailer for it and his other films here. It completely got me inspired to do this.