Dancing With Kate Gosselin

I'm going to diverge for a second. Just a second. I really shouldn't. I've been getting so much work done, but I'm going to stray. Just a little. I love Kate Gosselin. I always have. I was a big fan of "Jon and Kate Plus Eight," before it even became popular and ... ugly. I understand the whole "motherhood thing." (I don't want any of those little monsters.) The kids (all little people of color) were almost as cute as my own nieces and nephews (and ... great nieces and nephews). Almost. Not quite. But, almost. I loved the dynamic between Jon and Kate. They gave me hope about relationships triumphing over the everyday mundane. They would fight, snap at each other, say what they had to and get over it quickly. But ... as all of America knows, it didn't last once the money and the exposure started rolling in. Somewhere along the way, and I said I was going to stay out of it, but Jon, who used to defend himself and give as good as he got, decided that Kate was a castrating bitch and that he was a victim. And, fucking America backed him up!!!! Yeah, Kate could be a bit much. Sometimes a nightmare. But, so, could he. We didn't know what she had to put up with. But, what would you do, gentle reader, if you had eight kids and your husband couldn't step up to the plate because he had suddenly decided that he was too young to have eight children, who were already here helping him to NOT work everyday, who now had the money to do whatever he wanted? Now, folks --- hold on --- let's add in the shameless affairs with under-aged, barely attractive young girls sun bathing on your lawn while you're out of town promoting a book you wrote to bring in enough money to pay for the new house you just got after realizing that people actually wanted to hear you talk about your children --- all-the-time and --- let's face it, I think I'd be a little "bitchy," too. Just a little. Anyway, I wasn't really supposed to go off about that, but about the fact that Kate (who looks fucking INCREDIBLE) is going to be on a show I've never watched and probably never will ---- "Dancing With The Stars." I am ALL for Kate Gosselin being happy. She did things on her show, that she of course, benefited from, yes --- but so that her children could have the things she didn't. (The show did get ugly. It was too painful to watch.) But, I hope that Kate will one day find 1) happiness, 2) peace, 3) a new man (not that I'm a promoter of heterosexual couplings) and 4) recover from the trauma of her marriage ending and being berated by the media. (Her hair didn't have to stick up like that.) And, we can't believe that this woman, this mother of eight, isn't hurt by it. She's got to be. I wish her the best. If celebrity is the way to recovery, then more power to Kate Gosselin. She's got eight kids to feed. But, (wink!) let's also face the truth --- I hope Kate is second up (her little dancing partner, Aiden Turner is --- HOT!!!!) and that Niecy Nash is the WINNER!!!!!! (Niecy, you ULTIMATE ROCK!!!! And, that is a MEGA STUD, Chad Ochocinco, you're partnered with! Wowsa!!!) I wish you the best, Kate. I do. There! I've said it. Now, I'm going back to the drawing table, getting stuff done and this beautiful day.

Skimpy

Issue #26

Potential Cover - Issue #26

Thanks, D.J. --- for the inspiration!!! Work in progress. (You know who you are.)

Federal Barbie

Waaaaay back in the day, I did a very short lived comic strip for a Federal government newsletter. For stupid reasons, I stopped doing it. But, it was basically about Barbie, (yes, her again), America's favorite teen fashion model doll who's done every job imaginable. Barbie (then "Barbee") had had enough of Mattel and quit! She decided to get a Federal government job. Skipper was pissed (and prone to the occasional tantrum), because without Barbie's job at Mattel, she wouldn't ever get her teen fashion make-over and forever remain a little girl. Ken only wanted to talk about "the old days," so she had to remind him that he was merely "an accessory." Then, Midge, a doll with extreme emotional needs and stalker-esque qualities was no help because she just wanted constant affirmation. Finally, there was her very first (and probably only) "black friend," Christie. But, she couldn't get too close to her because her girlfriend, Black Francie, (forreal --- that was her name) wasn't having it. Oh, who knows where Barbie would have gone wearing tennis shoes on public transportation if I hadn't gotten up on my high horse and ended my strip?

Vindication

Without going into any ... personal detail, I will just say that ... I'm not a person who needs or even seeks Revenge. Revenge can be an ugly, complicated thing. Especially when her sister, Karma gets involved. Their second, or maybe even third cousin, Vindication will suffice. Vindication generally comes after everyone judges you (often harshly), deems you ... "the crazy one," and continues to judge you from that moment on. (Even fifteen years later. True story, people.) But (dot dot dot) when "they" get "theirs," you can't help but say, (sometimes to a crowd of people at a party who are also drinking) "I told you so." (Not in those words, but many. Repeatedly. Occasionally, with laughter and a verrrry fixed eyebrow and knowing nods.) You just hope that that person can "connect the dots." Sometimes, often times, this level of betrayal is at the hands of one of your "Good Judys," who you thought always had your back, but were oftentimes waiting for you to turn your back. Neil went through it with Eric, many times. (Specifically, issue #4.) And, if you're actually reading my book, you'll see it happen again and again. And, eventually, "they" see. It was the year 2000 and even I knew it then. Life sometimes does imitate art.

Joel

Spoilers ...

If any of you have kept up with my online comic, Black Gay Boy Fantasy, then you know a few things .... Neil had been having an affair with the already married (in an open relationship), Imu, who Neil had been crushing on since the infamous candlelight vigil meeting in issue #1. BUT, Neil had apparently broken it off with Imu, because he was really beginning to enjoy his new relationship with Jesus (who has a fabulous doll and toy collection, watches comic book movies, and is passionate about unoppressing oppressed people) --- now that he's somewhat gotten over Dustin --- who Neil doesn't know is back with his ex-boyfriend, Greg --- who was flirting with him at a Sunday brunch while Dustin was only a few booths away drunk on Mimosas! Meanwhile, Derrick and Rodney had taken in a very troubled gay youth, Raymond, against Rodney's better judgment --- who Neil didn't like from the very beginning --- who ends up in some kind of liaison or tryst, most likely SEXUAL with Derrick, but we don't know for sure --- because Derrick broke the main rule of a comic book drama by not "wanting to talk about it" --- even though it was only him, Neil and that missing fourth wall. Now, his long term marriage is likely OVER!!!! (Trivia! 17 years? Right?) Well, Rodney, aptly threw them both out, but then became enraged with Neil when he discovered that Neil (his "friend") had taken both of them in!!! (It also turns out that Derrick is FLAKE, unable to keep jobs, pay his end of the mortgage, apparently ain't puttin' out on a regular, and introduced DRAMA, early on in their relationship!!!) Meanwhile, Jesus confides to drunken Derrick --- sipping on cocktails early in the day with his locs a mess, t-shirt smelly --- (Did I draw the "smelly lines" at any point wafting away from his shirt? I think I went for tattered edges.) --- that he knows that Neil is seeing someone else and that he's decided to break up with him. NOW, in typical male fashion, Neil has decided that he's ready to have a fulfilling relationship with Jesus, without realizing he's about to be DUMPED!!! So, what's a black gay boy to do? What else?!? Take a much needed break --- not from the drawing board, but on a trip to a cabin in the woods for the weekend, deep into Maryland, where all sorts of debauchery, truth, drama and mayhem will unfold. Oh, and insects. Lots and lots of insects.