Sunday, June 21, 2009

David Marlin Crawford

Okay, people. This is probably about as personal as I'm going to get here because it's difficult. David Crawford was my first love. And for some reason, he'd been on my mind lately. I didn't try to figure it out because it wasn't unusual that I thought about him. Periodically, I would. He died a long time ago. His death hurt me so much that I couldn't even go to the funeral or even acknowledge that it happened. I feel really bad that I wasn't there to support his family. Selfish as it was, I just couldn't handle it. Anyway, I was cruising through Facebook (which is a horrible, horrible addiction --- and, people, don't get started if you don't have to) and I came across his sister, who is an incredible woman. Both of his sisters were incredible. David's family and extended family, as a whole, helped transform me as a black gay man. It's just such a shock, when I allow myself to think about it, that someone as wonderful as David is no longer a part of this world. But, he's been dead for 11 years now. What his sister wrote on Facebook, I just had to repeat here because she completely summed him up.

David Marlin Crawford (b. March 19, 1965 - d. June 16, 1998) my beloved brother, a committed, compassionate soul; a proud Black gay man, creator of music for a transformed world, devoted to family and friends and the Spirit. Remembering him with gratitude for his life and burning rage at the continuing AIDS epidemic, and determination that lives threatened and lost will never be forgotten.

This picture is of us at DC's 2nd Black Gay and Lesbian Pride. Can you believe it?!? The 2nd!!! We were soooooo young. I think that was over 20 years ago. We were young and optimistic. My hair was still black. I was afraid to wear shorts, but I did. I had a lot of body issues then. (The new ones are associated with age and laziness.) It rained, as it always does during Black Pride (as it's called now). It was a big deal just being there. Because of David, I became aware of the world. I grew up in a good time of self awareness and he taught everything I know. He was a brilliant, wonderful and beautiful (and hot) man. I will forever love him. I will forever miss him. And, he will never be forgotten.

6 comments:

Freeleo said...

Brother, we are around the same age, so I think I have some idea of the sense of loss you have experienced. You look around and say to yourself, "We were suppose to grow old and have a chance to share memories of our youth and create new memories." I still find myself overwhelmed when I remember all the beautiful brothers that we've lost due to AIDS.

I pray your strength, and know that you are not alone. There are other brothers who are alive and remember. (I was at that event in DC when you took that picture. I just didn't go to the park. It rained if I recall correctly.)

Now on a lighter note. Judging from your photo, you are still a handsome man. The gray looks good but if you want a slight boast, I recommend Just For Men. lol I'm still in very good shape but the gray was wearing me out. I put a little Just For Men in my goatee and it takes off years and give me a nice fresh look. lol Just a suggestion.

Wishing you only love and light...

Rahhlow said...

Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful pieces of your life with us. As a "newbie" to "the life", its empowering to observe enduring black male love that exists beyond time and space.

Victor Hodge said...

Yeah, it's hard to believe when I look back and think about some of the people I've lost. Seeing David's sister's words were painful, but also healing. Knowing, thanks to the internet, he can be remembered is reassuring.

And, on that lighter note, thanks. Just For Men? LOL! Somebody asked me once how I got my hair to look like this and I just told him "genetics."

John K said...

Very moving, Victor. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you're doing well. Love, John

Victor Hodge said...

And to the "newbie," believe it or not, there's a lot of enduring black on black male love out there. Don't let anybody tell you different.

back2life said...

Beautiful memory. thank you for sharing with us